you should be careful of hwz forums man. they may post your photos there for all the perverted uncles who are there for photos of pretty girls..

I just read your experience at HC. Trust me, once you start working, it's totally a new ball game and people certainly don't ask about A level results in determining your abilities.

I did not enjoy my JC days either and suffered the same situation that you did, having come from a less branded secondary school compared to others. I was initially assigned to a JC 1.5 hours away due to terrible prelim results but I moved to a closer one using my O level results which were vastly better but the JC is much more elitist. It was a nightmare for the entire 2 years and I ended with no As or Bs.

But hey I still managed to get into university and finally did something I enjoyed and did well.

After working for more than 10 years and looking back, my far from perfect A level cert was just a piece of paper to get me somewhere and it did. Life's too short for regrets.

nic: hey yes :( but there's nothing really much that I can do also but thanks for informing! Really appreciate it (:

anonymous:
Hey I do agree that the cert is a mere piece of paper but anyway I am doing good with my life now in uni too (: Thank you for sharing (:

Saw your blog post on FB. I'm very amazed by your courage to speak out. Here's what I always tell my students: "Your academic results don't determine how well you will do in life. Your Attitude does."

Saw your post on The Real Singapore. Seriously you can write alot. Honestly it's too long so I didn't read. But glad you moved on. Happy studying~

Wow your post really resonated with me. Went through the exact same situation as you so reading the post really brought back the painful times in JC for me as well..

Cheers to you for moving on! (: Do make the most out of Uni life- it's the last period of our life where we can truly enjoy being students before we head out to the nasty world out there.

Hi. I'm an anonymous reader. I just wanted to say that I vague remember your post a year ago so when I saw it on TRS, I was like huhhhhh isn't this pretty old? Must be the same reaction you had haha

Try going to poly then. Its a rat race there too.

Every single project, assignment, test and exams counts. Its all about consistency.

If you are not bright, you better be hardworking. So I suppose this is a prevalent problem everywhere. Maybe the only thing different is that people will not tend to see you as an elite and will not expect extremely good results out of you. However if you are self conscious about your grades, you would naturally want to work harder and strive for it.

Try going to poly then. Its a rat race there too.

Every single project, assignment, test and exams counts. Its all about consistency.

If you are not bright, you better be hardworking. So I suppose this is a prevalent problem everywhere. Maybe the only thing different is that people will not tend to see you as an elite and will not expect extremely good results out of you. However if you are self conscious about your grades, you would naturally want to work harder and strive for it.

I think deep down we know that the reputation of a community is not necessarily applicable of every member within the community. It's just that at times we conveniently choose to stereotype, and we may unwittingly result several undesirable implications.

Yet it's great to hear amidst the bitterness, you've managed to gather wonderful memories and not all plainly dull and bitter.

It's really nice to see someone courageously expressing topics that most people tend to avoid. It's enlightening. Really enjoyed the read.


P.S.The paper that year wasn't very kind that year for most of us either. But you've done a good job.

read your post somewhere on the internet and manage to find your blog. i totally agree with what you have said..

Maybe you should change your blog's URL often so that your posts and information won't appear on sites such as HWZ and TheRealSingapore..

Haha... Every stage of life you will learn a "Reality Check"

When you reach 25+ and working, such scenario is childs play...

You either join them or fight to be different...

The danger happens only when your mind is still in the well.

Spent 15mins reading an urban horror story. I experienced somewat similar stuff as u in my sec sch. Was in best class but my o lvl wasn't that good, did not meet people's expectations of me and my parents were raging. So I went to a poly. But then in poly, even if u do very well like having 3.9+ GPA and some awards, ppl (esp those who excelled in good schs) will just condemn u that it is worthless or nothing as poly is nowhere as "challenging" as jc. After all these occasions with assorted stereotypers and MOE shaped intellectuals, I am enlightened to just ignore what ppl think of u or if ur position is less challenging or worthy than other and just do my best in wherever I am. Life should not be abt meeting ppl's expectations but rather to only account for yourselves if u have given ur best in whatever opportunities given. We live for ourselves and not for others. All the best to ur uni! Have a fun one! Btw I'm surprised to see a well maintained blog. It's very rare to see one of these days. Or maybe my eyes aren't big enough.

Totally understand everything you said! I'm from RJ but experienced the exact same situation. Was judged by schoolmates for taking Econs H1. Even worse when they find out that instead of CHOOSING to 'downgrade' to H1, I actually didn't do well enough in sec4 to qualify for 4 H2s.

Through the years I kept telling myself that after interschools, I'll have time to catch up and do better. Deep down I already knew it was a lie. People in my CCA who got into RJ w/o DSA were in the national team and scored straight As. Made me feel like shitz man.

Now I cringe every time people ask me which school I'm from.

The only good thing is that I had great friends and the vast majority of my teachers were very encouraging and some were even wiling to stay beyond their working hours to help me in my studies.

hey thanks for this blog entry, it really made me feel less bad about myself when i did badly for my A's that time. I had the same background and situation as you. thanks for letting me feel im no the only one alone out there:) awesome entry.

I have read you post about your HC life. I would like to share with you base on my observations. My brother did well enough to enter Top govt JC for his O level results ,My female cousin did better than my brother and too she went to the same JC after a year later but, she ended up did worst than my bro with no "A"s except project. That's shows not everyone who did well for their O levels will eventually do well for their A levels. I empathise your situation, but hey, You have done your best and I think you deserve to give yourself a tap at your shoulder. A comparison with me and you are worlds apart, I did't do well since primary school, And what's worst i'm the last person in my class and by primary 3,I was transferred to special school. I stayed there for about 6 years and a teacher suggest me to go North Light school as i might land myself in polytechnic if i do well in ITE. Eventually, I did well enough in ITE with 3.7 GPA and went into NYP but however , because the years i missed both on primary school and secondary school, My maths was and is my weakest subject, and i have to do A maths and abit of JC maths( because i'm from engineering course) even till today and funny enough i was called by my classmates that i'm doing master diploma and not diploma because i have to stay on more years than a average poly student does. I believe by now, you doing very well. you're a good looking lady and believe that you might have a lot of secret admirers at you back *Laughs*. I have added you on facebook as friend, my username is Marvrin tan and i hope to chat with me more with you don't mind. =)

To be real honest..... your post from a year back really an interesting read....

and since they took it without your permission, i think you can

1) ask them clarify the title
2) ensure the accuracy of the report

not sure about if you can do anything to them using the law though

Dont mind me replying to Nic here - Some of the 'perverted' uncles have golden advice too. (DISCLAIMER - me not one~! ~_~")

Anyway, going through the replies, most of it are from young folks like yourself. I will repeat the same thing to all of you - 'A' levels is just a piece of paper. One of the most useless in Singapore, in fact. (Try finding work with 'A's, haha ... You will have much more luck with a Diploma)

Regarding studies and your future career, most folks can advise you properly. (The Attitude advice is good; take it.)

I will tell you more about an advice I got when I was 16 instead.

A lady asked 16-year-old me what my hobbies are. Nope, nothing, although I aspired to be a song-writing singer. She simply told me to pick up a hobby in life, because when work is done, relationships and family come (and go), etc, etc ... your hobby will be the one sustaining your life.

The 16-year-old me brushed off this sincere advice then. Many years later, this advice came back as a lifesaver ...

I will just like to tell you to keep up with your passion in dancing. Do not let it die off, because it may well be your lifesaver in future.

Our system is one that discards anyone who isn't the best. This is the truth. Your dancing may well be the only thing in due time that reminds you that you are ... XinLin.

Don't lose sight of that.


Cheers to all. ~_~

If they didn't get your permission to put it up, get them to take it down! It's no respect if they did so

Hi Miss,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It was really enjoyable reading through your post (s), and you're a really inspiring person to a 16 year old final year O level student like me!

Dear XinLin,

read your original post (as you know it has been spreading like wildfire across the web) and I wanted you to know that you are not alone. In many ways I identified with your struggles; I was there once but thankfully I managed to get the hang of things before the crucial point. But the experience was just as frightening for me and I saw that I had many friends who were going through the same things but had no one to turn to in sharing their experiences. And I think that like you, because they received too little help too late, many ended up not fulfilling their full potential.

Looking back there are times when I wish I had stepped up to say something, to say that I was going through the same thing, and to let them know that they were not alone. Thank you for being brave enough to do just that for many other Singaporean students who are/ will be in the shoes that you were when you wrote this. Reading this was as cathartic for me as writing it must have been for you.

Happened to see this too. Take one minute to have a look.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/nine-dangerous-things-you-were-taught-in-school.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit.html

Those two years give you grit. I m thankful for my two years in HCJC.

Like the team always said, no pain no gain.

Ah well.. A friend of mine just shared your original post on my fb wall, though its already a year old. But yea I'm from the 07 batch, MAD so I'm a dancer like you.

Just wanted to say I totally relate. Although I wasn't as strong as you and didnt fight to push up my grades during As. Instead I hid in the comfort of my CCA, which like you, was the one thing I enjoyed. I got BCCS, no GP cos I took KI, which totally doesn't help the stereotype haha

I got steadily rejected from all the unis I applied to for my A level year and the 2 years I was in NS. But I'm thankful for that because it forced me to seriously consider my options instead of just following the mainstream current. Now I'm pursuing a diploma in dance at NAFA and I couldn't be happier.

HC taught me, if anything, that in the end, As and grades are but a fleeting, insubstantial goal. It is but a simple means and not an end. I'm really glad that despite all that, you're still dancing and doing what you love instead of thinking that in uni you have to focus and bury yourself in studies to not repeat your A level grades. I wish you all the best and maybe I'll run into you at the next Dance Night (though sadly MAD is no more) or some other dance event =)

Ezra

I can empathise with your pain and suffering. But this is nothing compared when you finally go out to work, where it will be the same situation, where back stabbing and decite may be part and parcel of everyday working life.

Again, the road to life is long. With known sadness, there will always be joy. With darkness, there will always be light.

You rock. Is all I can say.

继续加油 in life!

- From a random member of public

Hello XinLin, it is rare for someone to blog a post, or at least in my "social" circle.

I have read your post, linked from a friend and it is unfortunate that the title in the realsingapore "The ugly truth about HCJC", is hugely misleading, and have made me wonder that you are just using some populist argument, leading to Argumentum ad populum.

I was wrong, and I was deceived. Taught me another lesson on not to generalize and assume. You should write a letter to the website to clarify your stance on the issues that you have blog. I know that this is written in 2012, but me being me, will leave my comments here.

Your article is moving, capturing the essence of how it feels like to be a student in not just an "elite" JC, but most people in what I called the "cram random discrete knowledge into some brain hoping that one would memories it and take it as true without any external proof or validity"

Part 1
Crim

Now to the crux of the issue. Do note that I may have some form of biasness, having experience the JC system like you do. If I am right, I am one year your senior, so we would have experienced the same curriculum. However, as me is being born into the a certain group of sex (as in physical, not orientation), I would need to serve conscription. Hence I am one year your junior as result.

I have to admit that I am somewhat luckier than you, being given a gift to "love physics". This has been my curse too, because in my secondary and primary school, people would take a look at my other results, which was atrocious. It is even at this one point in which my chemistry teacher (in my secondary school) having a long talk with my mum, resulting in my mum forbidding me to learn C+ as a programming language. Yes, a part of my immature self have still not forgiven her for giving me so much pain over the past 18 years. But oh well, my mature self has just given up on the outside world.

And yes, in my secondary school, I have no "redeeming" factors, so I am ostracized in school, even bullied and suffocated by my teachers and my peers. Well, a lot of people told me that I wont be able to do a H3 physics in JC based on my results. It is a huge blow, having to see how people do not see my strengths, and base my results on the aggregate score of all the other subjects.

Well, my experience have taught me to be more independent, and to close myself off to the outside world, relishing in the magic of imagination, which really helped during JC.

Part 2
Crim

Somehow, I managed to get into NYJC and due to my somehow "matured" personality, my love for physics and my great teachers (only some), I have kinda managed to scrape through the JC system, with the H3 physics courses being most epic moments of my life. I came out almost friendless though, as I am one of the less approachable guys.

I feel that the crux of the issue is not the just "I just want to score A mentality" or that "a high grade = successful graduate". It is an issue that is related to pedalogy itself, and its roots is in epistemology. I am sure that you have heard that in China, there is a 0 correlation, or even a negative correlation between doing well for "gao kao" exams, which is their version of our standard A levels and the success that hey had (I understand that the term success is a bit vague, but I will leave it for the article to demonstrate their point)

http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2010/06/30/gaokao-no-predictor-of-success/

I mean, I could be a some trolling examiner in Mr. Brit, set some trolling questions that even I myself could not understand, and just randomly give As to students. I don't imply that this is happening or ever becoming a possibility, but this is just food for thought.

Part 3
Crim

Nothing is being brought into true understand of the subject matter itself, and there are many many examples that I could quote:

I believe that you may remember the Boltzmann equation: To my chemistry teachers it is just a draw and memories the probability curve without giving the damm on the derivation of the formula, which is from statistical thermodynamics. AND LUDWIG BOLTZMANN IS A PHYSICIST. DAMM!
Similar to the Gibbs Equation and the concept of entropy. The idea of entropy is not really discussed. They just leave it as the disorder (or order) of the system and proceeded to just give example of when there is an increase or decrease in entropy. The concept of heat distribution of the system, the difference in the definition between the macro and micro aspect of entropy or in relation to information theory, which is the number of possible microscopic state and the reason why entropy is always increasing in the universe.

In mathematics, out of all the student population, how many of them are able to explain how differentiation comes about, or rather a rigorous proof of different results as found in the differentiation formula?

Back to the point. I do have a inking that teachers are drilled to produce students with As and are pressured to do so by the school, so real learning via proper logical deduction or induction is not being enforced, and the students in some way or another uses argumentum ad auctoritatem extensively, in which I will put it in the context as: Teacher is "god", and "right"eously so. Even in GP, I still feel that I have been manipulated by a hand behind into writing some sort of model answers. Our school produces a model to argue, and immortalize essays that goes their way, when we could find gaps in their core arguments via logic.

Part 4
Crim

Sometimes I wonder is it the way of humanity or it is just our system? During my time, I used to envy the American school system a lot, because they are tolerant and even encourage individual talents, no matter how small it is. (I do understand that this is a generalization, but I could not help but to smile when I think of the Americans)

One important thing that I would like to bring up: It is not just about your issue of the perception of your JC. In fact, I think it should be broadened and expanded into an issue of education itself, in which the problems I have mentioned in the above mentioned paragraphs. In fact, the concept of ego could be discussed and your post is a excellent firsthand account of what it feels like to be trapped in the sea of egoism.

I will say that I have achieved good grades for my A levels , I do not really care about having good grades at all. My course requires only CCC/C to get in. (And not in any consideration I will place my future in the hands of NUS Science, and if I offend anyone with this, I am truly sorry but this is my personal stance) The only reason why I am able to get this result is 1. I was psyched by my chemistry teacher into memorizing tons of organic chemistry information. Her rewards are too tempting. 2. My interest in physics and subsequently mathematical physics helps me a lot. Heck man, I even argued for my points, which is a result of my own thinking, in a GP essay in which I choose the question that not many people would (A history question) and in H1 history itself. Results are secondary. I got a D for GP and C for H1 History, but I am still able to proudly say to my History teacher (one of the minority of teachers that I respect) that I have put my own true thoughts and feelings into this essay. This is what I think it is the most important. I have this motto: "Do what you believe it is right, and substantiate it with strong logic." Perceptions and paradigms are temporal.

Crim
Part 5

As to add in to your experience, I do have a friend who is in a neighborhood junior college, same year as me, and one year your senior at that time (assuming that he makes it through). He has an illness (undignosed at that time) called narcolepsy. Of course that did not bore well in this ultra competitive classroom of his. He got treated so badly that he had lost hope in his studies, and it is a bit of a lost opportunity. He dropped out of his college after year 1, went a few routes such as the Millenia Institute before winding up as a private candidate for 'a' levels, in which the months of accuminated stress does not do him well. He was lost during NS life until he decided to take a shot in SIM.

To sum it up, your moving article (I must say again) have been a thought provocateur for me, and I would like to thank you in person for that.

In the meantime, good luck with your future endevours.

(Note: I still do not get the big brags about people taking 4 H2s, or even 5 H2s or even 2 H3s, other than to stroke up their ego. Could someone clear my misconception, if there is one in the first place?)

Crimson
Part 6 of 6.

First of all I am not from Singapore. I am from a little potatoe country call The Netherlands. I stumbled upon your story from a post in The Average Singapore while somewhere between surfing for what I am gonna eat tonight and some minor irrelevant stuffs but after reading your story I felt I am really blessed with the thing how they are at my university ( I am law student at University of Utrecht Law school) of course educations can't be compared, each country has its own system but to us (the students) it is all same, we need to get grades that is the only thing universally about school.
To conclude my story before I eating. I thank you for sharing your experience and my eyes are opened so I am gonna do homework. Thank you.